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Aisling Duval Talks Narcotics

In the popular show “A fireside chat with Serena”, the celebrity royal, Aisling Duval, surprisingly talked through tears about narcotics -

“Yes Serena, that’s my early childhood. I hate narcotics and think they should be made illegal. My mother died from them before I was old enough to remember her.”

When asked about her father she replied -

“Oh Serena. He was led astray in his youth, but Dad is a lovely man, and would make a great Emperor if his controlling father wasn’t so spiteful.”

Commentators have expressed outrage at her comments about our beloved Emperor, and the network cut the broadcast at that point.

Latest News on Durius Situation

It seems many private pilots have been helping Senator Patreus’ warships against the government of Durius, and that the government is suffering serious losses.

Despite Senator Patreus’ actions Durius has still not settled the debt. Governor Malachai gave the following interview from his governmental headquarters -

“It is heart-warming to see the support for a down-trodden system like ours from commanders of independent ships. Sadly there are those who are siding with Patreus. We hope they will see the error of their ways before it is too late.”

There are reports from sources close to Senator Patreus is pleased with his force’s progress so far. Another aide quipped that that the “Governor Malachai is clearly deluding himself!”

Slave Rebellion Breaks out in Ongkuma

Rumours are coming in from multiple sources that rebellion has broken out amongst slaves in Ongkuma.

This news has surprised commentators given the speed with which the Sorbago rebellion was crushed last year. Some commentators speculate that the rebel leaders are relying on intervention from independent pilots, although many consider this to be a foolish hope after the widespread support the Senator received in the Sorbago campaign.

Indirect confirmation came from a comment in social media from a lowly shipyard loader driver, who posted that the ‘Cleopatra’ and the ‘Marlin’, two of Senator Torval’s Majestic Class Interdictors, were being provisioned to leave for the Ongkuma system.

Senator Torval is still on her holiday cruise on the ‘Xanadu’ so was unavailable for comment.

Secret Federal Anger now Onionhead Sales at all Time High

We have seen several off-the-record comments from unnamed Congressmen who are angry at the publicity Onionhead has received from the President’s various announcements, and her criticism of the Admiral of the Fleet.

According to reports on black market pricing, the value of Onionhead has soared throughout Federal space, despite its illegality. The ‘Oniongate’ protests are still ongoing, seemingly paralysing the senior leadership from taking further action.

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