Galnet News

Breaking news from the Tanmark system would seem to indicate that Admiral Vincent’s bombing of Panem has only slowed the spread of Onionhead.

News has reached GalNet that a new strain of Onionhead, which is believed to have been cultivated in secret somewhere on Luca, with assistance from farmers from Panem in the Kappa Fornacis System has begun turning up on the local markets.

A dedicated reporter managed to track down Georgio Algeria on Panem, and it seems his group have been part of this -

“I said we would be back, and here we are. You cannot spoil our happiness. We are still cool. We have more friends that you realise. And now we are rich!”

Due to a quirk of Federal Law, the new strain does not fall under the statue banning sale of Onionhead, as Lucan Onionhead is a different strain. Federal Labs are reported to be rushing the tests through in order to make it illegal as soon as their processes allow.

Following Aisling Duval’s passionate outburst on “The Breakfast Show”, it was announced today that her charitable organisation, Stop Slavery Stupid, will be increasing subsidies for various emancipation programs being run from slave rehabilitation centres in Cemiess.

Stop Slavery Stupid have said that they will be using this new windfall to offer a more competitive rate of compensation to citizens willing to set their Imperial Slaves free.

This renewed commitment to liberate Imperial Slaves has been met with a great deal of derision from business leaders throughout the Empire. When asked for an official comment, The Chairman of the Cemiess Workforce Acquisitions Agency had this to say -

“Aisling and SSS doubtlessly mean well, but unfortunately her youthful enthusiasm and kind heart is getting in the way of her common sense. It’s pretty clear Aisling doesn’t understand the ramifications that would occur should she succeed in abolishing such an integral facet of our society. Never mind the fact that no one affluent enough to afford slaves would be foolish enough to simply sell them off at a loss. Hopefully our young lady Duval will give this up before she manages to bankrupt herself in an attempt to pursue this fruitless endeavour.”

Following news that the Imperial Wedding would have to be delayed indefinitely, a wave of unrest has begun manifesting itself across the Empire. Citizens from all over Imperial space have flooded popular social sites to express their disappointment, frustration and concern over the matter.

One particularly angry Patron proclaimed, “It’s not about the loss of business, it’s about the loss of trust! It’s pretty clear that the Emperor has been seriously ill for quite some time, yet the Chancellor likes to pretend that everything is okay. Well it’s not okay! This latest gaffe by the Imperial Palace shows just how little attention our leaders are paying to the Citizenry on the streets, they’re all too busy playing trying to grab whatever scrap of power they can, and who suffers for it? We do.”

The Chancellor’s office declined to offer any new comments as to whether or not the Imperial Wedding would be rescheduled for any time in the near future.

Senator Patreus today announced an end to hostilities in the Durius system. The conflict in Durius began after the ruling authorities defaulted on a large debt that they’d inherited from the previous government. The Senator’s civic management teams are now in the process of taking over control of the system’s government in preparation for its new status as an Imperial world.

As well as declaring the aforementioned changes, Senator Patreus offered a great deal of praise in response to the overwhelming number of independent pilots who travelled to Durius in order to join his cause -

“In this modern age of new drive technology and rapid interstellar travel we find ourselves becoming ever more reliant on the outstanding work carried out by our honoured allies of the Pilot’s Federation. Without their timely assistance many more casualties would have befallen both sides of the conflict. Not just myself, but the people of Durius owe those brave independent pilots a debt of gratitude for helping to end this war before it got truly out of hand.”

In a follow up to yesterday’s announcement, the marriage of Emperor Hengist to his childhood sweetheart, Florence Lavigny, has now been postponed indefinitely. The news marks the first time in over five hundred years that an Imperial wedding has had to have been delayed for any reason.

As well as costing the Imperial Treasury a small fortune, the delay comes as a serious blow to Arissa Lavingly’s claim to the throne. Experienced commentators have noted that whilst Arissa currently enjoys the support of Chancellor Blaine, a well respected and staunch supporter of traditional Imperial values, he has previously stated that the next Emperor should follow the Duval line.

In a Presidential address last night, President Jasmina Halsey gave a length speech outlining the various successes she claims her government has made over the course of their current term. However, when pressed to answer questions regarding the recent wave of systems scrambling to leave the Federal fold, President Halsey simply said -

“We are facing troubled times. While it is easy for some to declare that the military are the solution, we must look further ahead. Our society fails those who need our help the most and it is by lifting those at the bottom that we will restore Federal society to what it should be.”

Political pundits were quick to point out that her speech contained very little substance, with many complaining that the President had failed to address any of the actual threats that face the Federation today. Some have even gone so far as to suggest that her mishandling of the current socioeconomic climate has left the Federation weaker than it has ever been before, pointing to the recent slide of Banki and BD+03 2338 into states of lawless anarchy as prime examples of the President’s continued failures.

After days of widely circulating rumours that ships belonging to major dignitaries had not yet departed for tomorrow’s wedding, the palace this morning confirmed that there will be a delay to the start of festivities. Chancellor Anders Blaine made an announcement on the steps of the Imperial Palace saying -

“It is with deep regret I have to announce that his Grace, the Emperor Hengist Duval, remains too unwell to participate in the wedding ceremony tomorrow. As such, it is with great sadness that I must declare a temporary postponement of the intended revelries. Hopefully this will be a delay of just a few days. I will make announcements each day once we know more.”

The Chancellor refused to take questions, and returned inside the palace moments after his announcement.

Although there is anger amongst some lesser dignitaries that they weren’t told in advance, the markets did not notably change in reaction to this news, suggesting that the true state of the Emperor’s health has come as no surprise to those in power.

Commentators from the Dulos system are reporting a massive swing in the popularity of the Dulos Defence Party who recently announced that they would seek to withdraw the system from the Federation. A spokesman for the party said -

“Following on from our success with the economy for the markets under our control this additional boost just reinforces that our vision for the future of our system is the correct one.”

An official statement from President Halsey’s office has not been forthcoming and this news can only increase the political turmoil her presidency has become embroiled in.

Aisling Duval, once thought to be second in line to the throne, has objected to the finding of the Marriage Council that her objection had no merit. She has said on a leaked private chat -

“The rotten marriage council is made up of my grandfather’s cronies. How can they block my objection now it is clear he is in a coma? Marriage is about love!”

The ruling of the Marriage Council was apparently made before the announcement of the coma, and under Imperial rules, an objection cannot be lodged more than once by the same person.

In the first Senate session in the New Year since the public holidays, Senator Denton Patreus, Senator for Eotienses, has asked the burning question of the Senate. He directed it at the Chancellor, Senator Blaine -

“It saddens us to hear that his grace Emperor Hengist has fallen into a coma, but we need to think for the future of our beloved Empire. How long will his grace be in a coma before we trigger the succession? This has not happened in over a thousand years, and it is for us to decide. One day? One week? One month? One year?

“We need a strong leader, and we should set a date in the near future when we review the situation.”

There was a frisson of mumbling in the Senate after his comments and a general consensus to review the situation at the next session.